1st April, 1999

To,

The one who called me today….

To the one caller who’s missed call I did pay some attention to…

I was excited to see your missed call, dear.

Thanks for calling ÔŁĄ

It was a surprise of a lifetime that you actually dialled my number after a gap of years…. 2 years, to be exact…. And hey, you made me happy! Plus, today, it was YOUR BIRTHDAY- the day which I usually spend thinking about you, and thinking about wishing you. But, I always refrain from doing so. Maybe because I feel that you won’t like me calling you anyway, or maybe because I feel you don’t deserve my calls.

You see, you betrayed me, you lied to me… Just too many times, so I felt like a fool, for loving someone who respects me least, much about everyday till forever.

I regret us, even now. I feel we should have met at some other point of time in our lives…. Or maybe we should have related to each other differently at that time. Anyway, we’re both a mess.

I love you.

I loved you. I loved your mess. How you couldn’t be with just one girl. How you still kept trying to love, haha. How you kept trying, yet kept lying… :”)

Anyway, Happy Birthday!

– B. R.

(P.S. the call was just a dream, fortunately…. Your voice was cute though)

Stalkers Lovers Strangers

Have you even been listening?

Have you been reading this?

Have you stopped me from doing all this? I’m sorry I had to do this... I had to blog. I wanted the world to know my thoughts…. to know my love for you….

And blogging was the only way… to do this….. to tell the world how much you mean to me… To express my thoughts because I cannot share them with you anymore. We don’t talk anymore… we just think about each other sometimes, and it’s never really positive thoughts…. it’s not even negative, but I can’t say it gives us butterflies anymore… We are not lovers anymore…. We’re just strangers now…. First Love maybe and I wished it would have been the last for both…

Unfortunately I cannot make love last. Maybe we don’t deserve it… maybe I don’t deserve you, maybe you don’t deserve me, maybe we don’t deserve love. It could also be that it was a right love at the wrong time.

But anyway I still wonder if you ever think about me, miss me, and maybe read my blogs.

Do you?

You do miss me don’t you….. I hope you do, because I believe it was not fake whatever we had. For me it was all real… don’t know about you. I hope feelings were mutual.

So tell me…

Are we just strangers, exes, past lovers…. Maybe destined to love again. Maybe this time we can make it till the end of time.

Stop stalking me… Just call me someday…. On April fools Day maybe? Don’t You Wanna make a fool of me again?

B. R. ÔÖí