Excuse me… My boyfriend’s ex?

Why does he love you more than he loves me?

Did you have to come first? Always first in his mind. First in his life.

He remembers last new year. Says it was a very nice day. And he says that this new year sucks. Last new year, perhaps you were there. This time, I’m here. Still, you’re the one he remembers.

You dated several people at the same time, ignored him, gave him pain. I healed his wounds as much as I could.

Now he wounds me so that he can fill his own wounds left by you. You left him. Now he leaves me alone, not just alone, but he left me lonely.

Ex… Aren’t you? So, why are you unintentionally disturbing his present girl? Does she deserve this? Does she need to suffer from all of this just because of you… Indirectly it’s you. You’re causing me pain…. Because you gave him pain, and now he gives me the pain. I can take all the pain he wants to give me, but for how long? How long will I survive like this?

Answer me.

With Love and Confusions,

Bhabana Rabha.

💕

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January’s comin’ back baby!

2:27 AM, Monday♡

Heyyyy!

… Guys! Whatcha doing?

I’m supposed to be sleeping right now. It’s 2:29 AM right now, and it’s night time. It’s cold and I’m not even inside the blanket. My head hurts. I can barely keep myself awake. I feel deoxygenated. But at least I’m happy. Kind of overthinking. But, overthinking in a good way. Good thoughts. Powerful thoughts. I feel good inside. My ears are listening. Listening… to Without Me by Halsey.

I’m loving it. Loving the song. It’s nothing, but this me moment feels nice. I miss someone. I’m hurt by many. I expect apologies and regret from some. And I also wish some people would forgive me. Understand that when I did what I did, it may have seemed wrong to them, but no I didn’t wanna hurt anybody. Nor save myself. I just did what I thought was right. And I really was. And I still am. I wanna apologize only because people were hurt. But deep down, I know I’m right. Well, my nose is hurting I don’t know why. I’m not even suffering from cold rn. Still. Yeah well, I don’t know why.

I think I should just shut up my mind and get some sleep. ☺

Oh wait…. I forgot to tell ya guys… Today’s the last Monday of 2018. And the last day of December. Last day of 2018. And January’s comin’back baby! ♡

Nah. I’m not actually excited much. But yeah I am happy I’m leaving behind things. And people. I would be able to say… That “you belong to last year. Now go live without me.”

Haha. I’m not evil, dude.

It’s just the truth.

I let people walk all over me. Let them take advantage of me. And they leave me, after taking me for granted, thinking they could live without me.

They don’t know that I was the one who healed them. And when they get up on their feet again, they step on me and walk away easily.

Nah. I’m not frustrated. I love what people do to me. I like the pain. It’s what I live for. I love to be used by people for rescuing themselves and hurting me in return. Thanks. I love such people. ♡

But yeah.

January’s here.

Y’all are gone cases.

Haha.

It’s my time now.

Now show me.

That you can live without me. I wanna see how that happens.

Happy last day of 2018 to my fella bloggers and wanderers!

With Love,

Bhabana Rabha.

💗